Labor Day, 2017

Sometimes things happen and you just want to call your parents and your older brother and talk about the great fortunes in your life.  Sometimes you think to yourself, and it is so real, that you can just pick up the phone and call.  You think you can just hear their voice and the enjoyment and pleasure they would get from your news, your story, or just even a joke.  Sometimes you think you could. 

But not today.  Today the reality hits that you can't call.  You can't talk to them about the news, a story, or just even a joke.  You should have done that years ago.  When you could have. 

But I talk to them now.  I try to imagine that they are watching.  I hope they are guiding me to do the right thing, to be a good person, to make the right choices.  I hope.  I am trying to be the person that perhaps they thought I could be. 

These are just some thoughts that occurred to me today.  Today, the wildfires in the Gorge are blowing smoke all over the Portland area.  It kind of reminds me of the San Diego wildfires of 2004.  I saw ashes floating down in the backyard tonight.  It was like little snowflakes.  There is a slight layer of ash on all the cars.  The air outside smells like a campfire.  They closed I-84 in both directions just east of here.  I do hope they get it out soon.  Forecast is for rain on Thursday and Friday.  I hope that helps. 

D.

Week 7, Day 4 - My Birthday (Well, tomorrow, anyway)

Alas, I come to this point.  Week 7 of my unemployment--my crossroads-- my turning point.  Did you know that I finished my book?  My collection of these little essays.  I envisioned that the whole world would have looked at them by now and that everyone would love them.

I thought for sure the system would have crashed under the sheer weight of demand.  No such luck.  I average about 900 hits a year.  I have some regular readers, whom I cherish, and some irregular readers, whom I also cherish.  Readers who stop by when prompted or cajoled into it by some Facebook posts or link.  I am left to myself to blow my own horn.  If not me, then who?

But I digress.  Alas, I come to this point.  My crossroads, my turning point.  I try to continue on the path of these past 20 years.  Do I continue as a technical writer or is their some alternative career path hidden around some unforeseen corner?  "Am I to be the hero of my life, or is that station to be held by someone else?"  I must choose.  I MUST CHOOSE.  I cannot let anyone else determine the course of my life.

Each day I wait.  I wait for the e-mail, for the phone call, text, or any new information.  On the days when there is no new information I find myself looking for new channels.   New paths of creativity.  New career choices to make.  Some of them may be a stretch, but some are not beyond the realm of reality.  I can do that.  Just give me the chance.  I just need to get out of the house.  This searching is driving me bonkers. I am a worker.  I need to be busy.  I am a doer and I find it difficult to wait for others to finish their work for me to do mine.  And yet, I must wait to find out.

So, on this 27th day of July, in 2017, I find my impatient self waiting for news.  Waiting for the chance to redeem myself, to re-make myself into my own hero.  I don't want to be a superhero.  Just a plain regular, everyday hero who works for a living, pays taxes, lives the good life and helps his fellow man in some small, unrewarded, unremarkable way.   I am not asking much.

D.

Week 6, Day 4.

I set my alarm to wake this morning shortly after my wife left for work.  Busy day ahead. I had lots of plans. (No, not really.) But I kept hitting the snooze.  And I fell back into some deep rem sleep.  Must have needed it. Or maybe just wanted it.  At any rate, got out of bed and hit the computer.  So there you have it.  No motivation, no inspiration. 

And in the middle of writing this little ponder, I went downstairs to have some breakfast.  I had an old coffee cake recipe of my mom's.  Decided to make some comfort food.  And coffee.

During breakfast, I was watching inspirational videos on my phone.  (Who doesn't do that?  Be honest!) There are so many.   One popped up of that deaf singer on AGT, Mandy Harvey, (Mandy Harvey).  "It's not the dream I always had, but it's okay.  I showed up."  There you go.  If she can overcome her challenges, I can certainly rise out of my little funk.  There.  Done.

Just look around your great beautiful world.  There is inspiration everywhere. I look to my own family.  My brother's widow and her kids.  They are embracing life, in all its sadness, to find the joy and inspirations that keep them going.  The love of family, the joy of new life and new experiences.

I look to my cousin fighting cancer.  I see him looking at new ways to regain his strength.  I see so many family members struggling through life.  I see their struggles and I look at mine.

What do I have to complain about?  I have my health (reasonably so).  I have a loving wife. I have two beautiful kids who make me proud everyday.  I have money saved and a great many places to go and dreams to dream.  And I am doing okay with my prospects. Something will turn up, I am sure. Keep the optimism in your  life.  Hope springs eternal.  The future is a matter of the choices you make today.  Make the right ones and your future will take care of itself.   Good luck everyone.

A Poet's Paper Scraps

Poor Dany

I think I scared the kitty cat.
I think I scared her twice.
Once when I was being mean,
And once when I was being nice.

C. 2017 D. Normand

Notes from my desk cleaning - 2017

I find myself with a lot of time to clean my office.  These days, my unemployment days, I have perfected my schedule.  I wake, have coffee and breakfast, then hit the computer looking for work.  Some days I am lucky and find two or three jobs to which I can apply.  I update resumes and cover letters to match those chosen jobs and send off the applications.  Then, I wait.  This process usually takes until noon.  Time for lunch and then to wait to see if the applications actually took.

In the afternoon check my e-mail, usually auto-responses that my applications were received.  I print out that email and put that copy in my work seeking binder and note the company and job on my desk calendar.  Then, usually by 1:00 pm I am free.  I clean my desk and office, or go do some household chores, laundry, kitchen cleanup, yardwork.   That is my schedule, Monday thru Friday.  Broken only by phone calls and the occasional interview. 

During one of the desk cleaning days, I found some notes from probably 2006 or 2007.  I guess my wife and I took the kids to the local elementary school "country hoedown":

"Some of the children I had known since they were babies.  It is a beautiful thing to be able to watch them grow up.  There is a certain freedom in their play and ease of expression.

I also found a little quatrain.  I probably wrote this about the same time.  I noticed that it was getting more and more difficult to get moving in the morning.

'I'm sorry,' he said as he rose this morn,
An old body ached and worn.
The quickness, gone as fast as the years,
The friends, lost in death, as well as the fears."

Maybe I will use that in a poem some day.  Or maybe some thoughts like it.  Who knows?

 

Week 5, Day 1

The title says it all.  This lay-off is not as bad as the other two.  I have prospects.  I have had several interviews.  Several companies are interested.  I have had a lot of experience in my field and my resume has been updated to note that.  I am ready. 

And yet, my fate is in other's hands.  Other people are set to make the decision about my future.  Not the way I envisioned it at this point in my life, but so be it.  I shall be patient and see where that virtue takes me. 

I am ready again to devote the energies of my career to the next employer to hire me.  A new job will not have as steep a learning curve as my last one.  I am ready.  Just let me at it. 

Week One, Day Two

My  trip to the unemployment was not so bad.  I did most of the prelim work online so the lady there really just made some comments on my resume and sent  me home with a better and more clear idea of what to look for, how to search, etc.  

Not a bad morning.  She also told me to re-activate my Linkedin account.  I will.  I do not like Linkedin.  I had a recruiter contact me on Linkedin several years ago.  A stranger, out of nowhere.  It was clear that she was grasping at straws.  But she really had nothing for me.  It took me forever to shed that contact.  I don't know her.  But I think maybe the link is still there.  Anyway...

I also signed up for a social media for job search class through the Oregon UI department.  Tomorrow. More research, more fun. 

I am trying. 

Check in tomorrow for more fun news. 

D. 

Week One

This is the beginning of my first week being laid off.

7:15 AM - This Monday morning establishes my routine.  Get out of bed.  Wash face, head downstairs.  Breakfast, coffee, check up on news.  Not bad, I guess.

8:15 AM - Freshen Coffee.  Head upstairs with newspaper clippings.  Time to job search. First, reflect on what got you here.  I don't begrudge my former employer.  I was the lowest on the totem pole.  Least experienced in their system.  Work scarce.  Something has to go.  Wish it wasn't me.  What else could be done?
UPDATED 3:53 pm
8:30 AM - Write blog post.  Check.

8:45 AM - Get to work.  Check.

11:30 AM - Ready for my first interview.  They said they'd call.
11:35 AM - Still ready...  Check e-mail.  Did I miss something?  Maybe their conference room was booked. Panel interview.  Schedules got crossed?

11:37 AM - there it is.  Phone ringing.
 Hello....

11:40 AM - connection starts to get blotchy and staticky.

11:45 AM -  Call waiting beeps.  Another call coming in.  Really?

11:55 AM - Another call waiting beep.  Shut up. 

12:05 PM - Went well, I think.  Good conversation.  Wish me luck.

Time for lunch.  While fixing lunch the call waiting call comes through.  Some education facilitator wanting me to go back to school. He is going to switch me over to a recorded line.  Suddenly, I get two lines.  Him and some recorded sound track telling me about this, that and the other.   It is lunch time.  I have another interview this afternoon.  I need lunch and then I have to go to the other interview.  Geesh.  Sorry, Man, I am not interested. 

There are a lot of scams out there.  Find your dream job.  Sign up to apply and they want to charge you $19.95 for two months access to apply for that job and others like it.  Fahgeddaboutit!!!!
Good bye. 

1:45 PM - Second interview today.  Nice to be wanted.  Or that people want to talk to you.  No, we don't have anything that fits your needs.  We will keep looking tho'.  Thanks for driving a half hour to get here.

2:30 PM - At home.  Check e-mail.  Nothing.

3:00 PM - Sitting in my Jammies updating my blog.

3:45 PM - sitting in my jammies, sippin' on some suds, watching some inane stuff on the widescreen.  k

4:00 PM - Calling it a day.

Stay tuned to this page for Tomorrow's gripping tale of Dave's excursion to the unemployment office.  Or, as my cousin says, "the unenjoyment office."

D.

Blue Skies Ahead

Sometimes you wake to a glorious day.
A clear, azure blue sky with no blemishes,
'cept for the two white lines of travelers,
and the fingernail clip of a waning crescent moon..

Then, the news.  Like some belly punch
that takes your breath away, and wrenches and pulls at your core.
The news that, simply, we are all mortal,
and our struggles are as omnipresent as the clear blue, unblemished sky.

And then, a cloud appears, as out of nowhere, as God's reminder
that life is ever changing and nothing remains the same.

D. R. Normand

One-Way street - Metaphorically Speaking

I had a rough day a few weeks ago.  But I realized I am in a great place.  I have a job.  And I work across the street from a psychic palm reader, a pot paraphernalia shop, an art gallery, and a bar.   In less than one short block we have everything needed for all your spiritual refreshments.  Oops.  Sorry, no church.  That is back down the street on the right.  If you've come this far, you missed the church.  Kind of a metaphor for life. 

Did I tell you I work on a one-way street?  It is an interesting little town.  I like it.

A Story About My Friend

Just a little funny story about my friend - this is the way he told it.

When my friend, Bob, was a kid his dad drove a school bus for the county (this was in Montana).  During the summer he drove a truck across the state. Hauling hay, or other stuff.  Bob, being the oldest would always beg to ride along in the summer months.  His dad was always reluctant cause he didn’t want a kid slowing him down. 

When we went to Montana (2004 or 5), we stopped at a place called Philipsburg for lunch.  That is where Bob’s dad would drop the kids off to fish all day.  Drop them in the morning, pick em up in the evening. 

But anyway, one day his dad said come on.  Bob could accompany him.  Bob says he was about 9. Quite the adventure for a kid.  They left early one morning, right after breakfast. 

An hour or two later, Bob tells his dad he has to pee.  The way Bob told it his dad was not too happy.  He said that he makes money to take care of the family by driving and getting the job done.  Can’t waste time. 

Dad told him that if he really had to go he could step out on the running board and let ‘er rip.  Bob thought about it.  He really had to go.  Stood up, dropped his pants, opened the door, and stepped out.  Using one hand to hold on, he “let ‘er rip”.  Just stood there and went.   Driving on the curvy mountain roads.

Bob says he was surprised how easy it was.   But he wasn’t as surprised as the nuns he sprayed at the scenic overlook as his dad drove around the curve. 

D