Dreams

I was looking through my notes for something to write about tonight. I found something that I was working on about 7 years ago and stuffed away into a corner. It brought to mind why I am doing this.

We all have dreams. Dreams are created and die everyday. They really take nurturing to make them productive and fruitful. I stopped nurturing my dreams a few years ago. Well, no. I stopped nurturing some of them. I traded one dream for another. Now I want them both.

I dreamt of getting married and having a family. Then I met this girl. And we got married. There is a long story there, but I will save that for another day. I have been married for almost twenty years now. I wouldn't trade those years for anything. Through the good times and bad times we have been together. She is my soulmate. We talk everyday. About silly things, about important things. We have two beautiful kids.

My family has absorbed a great amount of my time and love over the past twenty years and now that my kids are growing I am finding that now I have time for those forgotten dreams. Tonight I found my notes from the week before my brother took off on his dream vacation -- two months in Alaska. These are my notes:

(I used to have plans like my brother. But then I got married. Settled down, got sensible about life.)

" A poem about forgotten dreams.

I had a list of places to go.
So many years ago.
In a moment of despair,
I buried my list somewhere
Packed away the maps.
Closed all the windows
and sold the car
Don't get around much anymore."
David Normand, C. 1999

There you go. The life of a poet. We write more notes than real poems.

I am 49 years old. Over the last three months my health has gone from fair to less than fair. I said good bye to a well respected boss, a person I admired, who was six months younger than myself. I spent a weekend in the hospital. All of these events have taught me that the time is now. You don't get a second chance. I have spent my life waiting for... just about everything. Waiting for the time to be right. I never really understood all of the inspirational quotes I have read. I read them all differently now.

I am not sure who said it originally, GB Shaw?, but to paraphrase: The real winners are not the ones with easy success but the ones who go out and, not finding the situations that they need for success, they go out and create their own situations.

I guess that is what I am doing here. I am creating my own situation. Creating my own success. I guess I will find out how well it works out. If it is a mistake, so be it, or a waste of time...No it could never be a waste of time. I do remember one quote from GBS that mentions that:
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw

I hope everyone is doing well. Take care. Follow your dreams.
David