Emotion and a Writer's life.

"The sharing of deep emotion - the sharing of those feelings - between two people is much more important to the survival of the collective human soul than moving the masses with a popular song, poem, or a book."

I hit upon this quote from my notes. I am cleaning up my desk and this is part of the detritus. What tripe. I mean, yes, it is important to love and to be loved, but it is also important to pursue your dreams. I had dreams, years ago.

My daughter is watching "good will hunting" in the other room. I remember when the movie came out years ago. I stumbled across a discussion group online about the use or non-use of God-given gifts. The question asked at the time was, 'was it a sin not to use the gifts from God?' I started to think about that. I have a gift. I didn't know it at the time but I have a gift. When I found out about this gift, that was all I wanted to do with my life. I want to write. But it is not that simple. There are demands, time, money and companionship.

I remember my parents 50th wedding anniversary. My brother asked me to offer a toast. He asked me if I needed some time to come up with something. I told him I was already working on it. Such is a writer's life. If you see a writer sitting quietly in a corner, with the lights off (or on), chances are he is thinking. He IS working. People don't seem to understand that. My mind is constantly working. I am always thinking, always working. The problem I have is in writing those thoughts down on paper. I don't always have the time.

So, years later, I find scraps of paper on my desk. I find little quotes, ideas, nice phrases and I have no idea of the context. Maybe I should just collect them all and publish them and let the reader decide. Yeah, that might work. I have read Vonnegut.

But back to my original topic and the use of gifts. That reminded me of a Springsteen song. See, these ideas are not new, and have haunted artist for a long time. Springsteen wrote:

"Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse,
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse..."

So, is not using your God-given gifts a Sin? I have tried to get published. I have tried to become a better writer. I have not succeeded. That begs another question, is success the measure of success?

I leave that to my fellow ponderers.

D.